...most of which I don't particularly like, but hey, it's me. At least I know now, and I can work on them.
-I need approval and praise.
Okay, maybe I don't NEED them, but I seek them. I find that when I do something and I don't get recognition, I am much less likely to continue. Such as my blog.... This is not a cry for readers or comments. It is simply the truth. This is why I have not been posting. Now that I realize this about myself, I will try to post more often. This is how I am trying to work on this thing about me. I NEED to write for therapeutic reasons, for me, not for anyone else, and certainly not for approval or support.
-I hate being made to feel as if I am less intelligent than someone or less experienced, green.
I've been this way since I was small. Friends would be telling me something new that they learned and I would say, in an adorably exasperated tone (only adorable because I was seven years old), "I KNOW!" Soon, my friends became exasperated with ME. "You think you know EVERYTHING!" Well, no, but at least all the stuff you know....
I'm still this way, but I've learned to just pretend I don't already know when someone tells me something I do already know. I suppose telling people things that we've learned makes us feel intelligent, important somehow. However, there are times when I am not seeking the advice from someone and I am still burdened with the wisdom of others anyway. This still drives me nuts. I will handle things in my own way. If I need advice on how to handle my own grief, something I OWN, I will come to you. Trust me.
-Fear holds me back.
Fear of what? I don't always know. I am starting to believe it is fear of failure. I fear failing at everything because if something I do is not perfect in my eyes, I have failed. If it's not good enough, it's not good AT ALL. This brings me to my next thing I have learned about myself...
-I am a perfectionist.
This and the one before directly tie into each other. I need to start forcing myself to create, write, paint, draw, craft. These things are all therapeutic for me. And Lord knows, I NEED therapy.
Thanks for reading, the very few of you. (I laugh at myself.)