Wednesday, November 23, 2011


Why do I remain optimistic?  Why do I keep insisting to look on the bright side?  Why do I keep believing that good will somehow prevail and that someone in a position that matters will actually give a shit about these kids and what they are going through?

Lee's ex won the custody mediation.  Because her father is a retired state cop and is buddies with the first judge, he ruled that the case wasn't even a relocation because she moved before there was a custody order in place.  Too bad the law doesn't say that.  It's not ambiguous AT ALL.

It must be nice to be above the law and do whatever you want, continuing to hurt your children in so many ways, and just trip through life oblivious to anything but your own selfish desire to get revenge.  Who cares about the kids?  If their own mother doesn't, why should anyone else?  And the people who actually do, can't do a damned thing about it.

I am physically sick about this.  Sick.

This woman has had her four year old on 4 different psychiatric drugs in as many weeks, claiming that all of his "problems" are his father's fault.  Funny, when he was still here, the psychiatrist said he was a pretty normal four-year-old with some anxiety due to recent big changes in his life.  She wouldn't diagnose anything, she refused to peg him with ADHD, and she never even MENTIONED medication.  The boy has problems now because his mother ripped him from everything he's ever known and moved him 1600 miles from his father and siblings.  His little sister used to laugh and be goofy on Skype. Now she just whines and cries.  She's depressed.  At the age of 3.

I guess the whole point of this post is what the fuck is wrong with me?  Seriously.  Should I just give up?  I'm the one who was so optimistic about the end of my pregnancy, encouraging the other preggo mom's I knew when they would complain of being so uncomfortable.  "It's all worth it!"  "Soon we'll get to hold our babies." "I might be uncomfortable, but I'm more excited to look in my baby's eyes than to just 'get him out of me'!"  And for what?  A few hours with his corpse, while he quickly turned cold, and the marks of death spread over his precious little face, turning his skin blue and his lips black.  He never opened his eyes, so I never looked into them.

I suck at being pessimistic, but I may just have to get used to it.  If life doesn't quit sticking it in my back door.


  1. :-(

    Sorry to hear things are going so badly. Sending you lots of hugs and prayers.

  2. I hope things eventually work out.xo

  3. Oh no. I'm so sorry and sad to hear this news. Sad for you and Lee and for the children concerned and it is incredibly unfair that it seems to have been arranged through personal connections rather than according to the law.

    And I'm sorry you feel as though you are losing your optimism. It is hard to hang on to it in the face of all this.

    I'm sure those kids know you love them and care for them and I choose to believe that love and care, like the truth, will win out in the end. Maybe not in the short term but in the long run, they will know that you supported them and wanted the best for them even if there was nothing that could do to remove them from a horrible situation xo

  4. Oh Nerissa, I'm so sorry to hear about the custody situation. It sucks that life isn't fair, especially for those that are here to live it.

    I too am optimistic (might not always be evident from my posts, smile). You need to do whatever you need to do to keep on going. If that means "letting her win, for now", you won't get any judgement from me. If that means "fighting some more" (if you can), we're here for you also.

    Bottom line, you love ALL of your children. Lee's, yours, Holden and all of ours too.

    Maybe (for now), loving from a far has to be good enough?

  5. Lee's ex sounds remarkably like my ex-dil. Her favorite phrase is "My Daddy is a Metro cop (in the big town near here)!" and she uses her Daddy's good name and good standing to get what she wants in the most evil way possible. She is, plain and simple, scum. My son won primary custody of his kids. Since she is too poor to take him back to court, and has too large a file at DCS to win custody fairly, she is playing dirty pool. In the last 18 months she has accused my son of sexually abusing his daughter twice, the latest just a month or so ago. The first time was utterly devistating with my granddaughter being removed from my home (son and his 2 kids live with us)and my husband and I being given temporary guardianship of my grandson. During the investigation my son had to live somewhere else. It was extra hard on my grandson because he has extreme ADHD and does not handle commotion and change well. My granddaughter, age 3 mind you, had to be put under general anethesia so they could microscopicly (sp) examine her. All to find out she has not been touched.

    Her mother has taught her to say "Daddy hurt me" while touching an area a 3 year old should not be so aware of. The only good thing about it all is that DCS seems to have caught on very quickly to her game. This last time my son wasn't even called in for an interview. And this last time I caught her red handed in several lies. She took my gd in to the ER just an hour after picking her up for a UTI. OK, did she have one? Yes, it just started though, she was crying while urinating. Funny, she wasn't just an hour before. Did they give her meds? Yes. Did you bring it with you? No, I have to go pick it up, I'll bring it tomorrow. Um, let's see, you were so concerned you rushed her to the ER Friday night and it is now Sunday night but you didn't pick up the meds?? OOOKAAY! About 3 days later she told my hubby she'd told ME to go pick it up. Okay, whatever, what pharmacy is it at? Names pharmacy. OH, well, I just called them, they haven't filled anything for the baby since April. UGGH!

    You don't have to publish this comment, it would probably be best not to give any more idiot mothers any ideas. Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. My son has his kids but they come with a lot of shit. Some people just suck youtr soul right out of you.

    Life does too. It isn't fair that you have to deal with this and mourn your son. I'm sorry.